Does she exist or am I just too dang picky?

don't ever let any one tell you that you should lower your standards. there is nothing wrong with the expectations that you have. in my opinion the only thing on your list that you could at least be flexible with is the overweight part and i only say that because overweight people can lose weight. its ok to be confident, we live in a very judgmental world so its better to believe in yourself than wait for someone else to build you up.